We can. . .
. . .listen to defend ourselves.
. . .listen to reply.
. . .listen to rebut.
. . .listen to negate the other’s perspective.
. . .listen to convince.
. . .listen to block.
Or, we can. . .
. . .listen to understand.
. . .listen to co-create.
. . .listen to find the “yes” in a situation.
. . .listen to enhance the results.
. . .listen to learn.
All of us can (and do) listen to others in all of these ways. And, I’m certain we could add to this list.
The real point isn’t that some ways of listening are better than others (although they clearly are).
The real point is to have enough self-awareness to recognize which type of listening we are employing and consciously push ourselves toward the more optimal types.