I enjoy watching Denzel Washington act. His character range is staggering and I can’t recall a character he’s played that I found unbelievable.
Recently I watched, “The Equalizer 3,” where he stars as Robert McCall, a retired special operations officer turned vigilante righting wrongs against evil across the globe on behalf of the innocent and the bullied.
An early scene in that movie has an Italian doctor operating on McCall who had been shot by bad guys. The doctor does not know McCall or anything about him, only that McCall was brought to him, unconscious, having been shot.
As McCall awakens from his surgery, the doctor asks him a simple question, “Are you a ‘good man,” or a ‘bad man’?”
McCall stammers a bit before quietly responding, “I don’t know.”
The doctor nods his head and leaves his bedside.
“I don’t know.” A powerful response. Especially in our work with donors.
When an advancement professional says, “I don’t know,” in response to a donor’s question, here is a short list of the good things that happen:
- The advancement professional is perceived by the donor as not trying to “sell them.”
- The advancement professional is perceived by the donor as authentic. No one knows everything and those trying to act like they do are viewed as less than genuine.
- The advancement professional gives herself the opportunity to follow-up with the donor (to get the information being requested and have another interaction with the donor).
- The advancement professional gives herself the time to frame her response in a way that might encourage the donor to respond more favorably and generously.
- The donor views his question as having been a thoughtful or unique one (because the advancement professional doesn’t have a pat answer for it).
Responding with, “I don’t know,” is almost always a positive answer for an advancement professional to employ. This understanding is vital for new advancement team members to embrace because many will want to learn more about the programs, the initiatives, the plans, the history, or the institution generally before venturing out to visit with donors. People tend to believe that saying, “I don’t know,” will make them look less professional. It doesn’t and never has. It actually does the exact opposite.
Scenes later, in “The Equalizer 3,” McCall is alone with the Italian doctor and he asks him, “why did you help me when they brought me to you?”
And the doctor responds with his own question: “Do you remember the question I asked you when I first met you?”
“Yes,” McCall responds, “you asked me if I was a ‘good man,’ or a ‘bad man.’ And I answered, ‘I don’t know.'”
The Italian doctor responds, “Only a ‘good man,” would answer that way.”
