| What We Are Told To Value | What Actually Is Valuable |
| Task Accomplishment |
Relationship Building |
| Competition |
Cooperation |
| Individualism |
Teamwork |
| Knowledge |
Caring |
| Problem Solving |
Question Posing |
| Telling |
Listening |
Through culture and institutions, our western world encourages us to value the items in the left column of the table more than the items in the right column.
But the best leaders, the best gift officers, the best colleagues (and the best spouses, friends, etc.) value the characteristics on the right more than the left. If you wish to become more effective, focus on what actually is valuable.
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