The conscious nature of infants is fundamentally selfish.
As they can’t gather the resources needed for survival, babies have no choice but to let the world know when basic, life-giving resources are missing. They cry, then scream, when they are hungry, or thirsty, or tired, or cold, or hot, or in any other uncomfortable condition. They do this with no regard to what is happening or who is around them. “Pay attention to my needs. Now”, is their message.
Entering into childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, humans layer-in another form of consciousness on top of our selfishness. It’s a contextual layer.
We begin to recognize the importance of the broader world around us, yet, we continue to naturally focus on ourselves – who we are and who we want to become within that world. We see possibilities as well as limitations to our development based on how we perceive our lives fitting into our communities and this broader, bigger world.
And when our brains fully form during our mid-to-late twenties, we layer-in yet another form of consciousness. It’s the conscious layer of contribution.
At this point, we start, in earnest, learning that our lives are not about us. This new consciousness layer is one of service, of grace and generosity, of assistance, and, of support for others.
These layers of consciousness developed over our life-span are accumulative and not discrete. We don’t shed our foundational selfish nature as we travel through our life cycles. Instead, if we are healthy, we add to our selfish nature, first contextualizing it and, then, mitigating it appropriately by embracing a “give more than you get,” morality.
When a leader is developmentally sound it is easy to spot their regard for those in their care. For example, a 23-year-old professional will almost always report positive feelings for their 50-year-old boss who seeks to better understand and help the younger employee achieve their professional and personal aspirations.
And, it also is easy to spot the leader whose consciousness is developmentally delayed or stuck. They use “my team” language. They deflect responsibility under the guise of delegation. They expect more pay and more benefits but with less accountability. They focus on status, title, and authority in relation to others. In fact, I’ve noticed that leaders who haven’t embraced the consciousness of contribution tend to lead organizations over time that prioritize reserved parking places for themselves and other leaders.
A healthy, effective leadership consciousness displays evidence of building beyond our own egos. It actively seeks to consider others.
Not because our selfish foundation disappears. Or, not because our self-centered discomfort disappears — mature leaders feel it as much as anyone.
But because they’ve learned what the infant never had to: achieving the mission matters more than their crying.
