We know from research completed back in the 1960s there isn’t a direct line from our bodies to our brains when it comes to feeling physical pain.
When we bump our elbow on something hard, for example, we know, instinctively, that if we immediately rub our elbow with our opposite hand, it will ease the pain. That’s because there is a “gate” at the top of our spinal cords that controls how much of the “bumped elbow pain signal” to filter up to our brains.
And if we don’t rub our bumped elbow immediately, the pain signal goes through the neural gate without any competing signals. Thus, the pain seems to hurt worse. However, if we rub the bumped elbow it sends additional signals through the neural gate and the pain signals are crowded out (at least somewhat), and the sensation of pain is lessened.
Turns out, neural gates not only control which (and how much of) physical pain signals move through our bodies to our brains. In addition and importantly, neural gates also control how our minds attend to and translate what is happening to us in the emotional and psychological realms as well.
So, for example, we know that if we are seeking to find the problems or negative aspects of a plan, a strategy, or even a colleague or a donor, it seems there is no end to the number of items we can put on that list. We have consciously opened the “what is wrong with this” neural gate wide open and the points come flooding into our minds.
But, if we are seeking to find the opportunities for growth, the silver-linings in a situation, or the strengths of a colleague, we also can create a longer list than we first thought might be possible.
The big point about neural gating is that today we have science-backed understandings that what might happen to us – with a donor, with an event, with a colleague – is not the end of the story. Instead, an important element in our response – especially when the circumstances could be viewed as difficult – is how we have trained our neural gates to respond over time.
Have we trained our neural gates to filter up to our minds opportunities, a sense of personal initiative-taking, or aspirational impulses? Or, have we trained our gates to allow more of the pitfalls, the threats, and the weaknesses to filter up to our brains?
Below are 5 researched-back habits we can use to train our neural gates to focus more on the opportunities, the potential, and the productive next steps, in any circumstance (even when it seems really difficult).
These habits are not “positive thinking,” and they are not designed to help people be overly-optimistic or detached from reality. Instead, these habits, help us balance out the negative with the positive.
- Reflect. Each morning, write down one thing that went well yesterday and, also, write down one thing you are looking forward to today. This doesn’t ignore problems. Instead it begins to train your brain to register what is working and what is exciting – which can easily be overlooked.
- Project. When something goes wrong or not as planned and you feel negativity rushing in, simply pause and ask yourself, “if my best friend was in this situation, what would I say to them?”
- Assess. When negative thoughts about future events rush in, ask yourself what evidence from your past both supports and contradicts this prediction. This helps your neural gates focus on more than only one type of input.
- Help. Help your neural gates focus on how you can be of service – volunteering, giving, helping a colleague with an issue, etc.
- Move. Raise your heart rate through consistent aerobic exercise (i.e., walking, running, bike riding, swimming, etc.). Exercise has been shown to train our neural gates to reduce the negative biases that travel to our brains.
Unconsciously, we know that rubbing a bumped elbow will help our neural gates mitigate the pain signals going to our brains.
Today, we also know that regardless of the circumstances, there are conscious actions we can regularly take to help our neural gates moderate our sense of anxiety, regulate our moods, and focus our minds on what is possible.
If we want our donors and our friends to focus on supporting a better tomorrow than today – in other words, if we want others to help us advance our missions – perhaps a good starting point is for us to pay close attention to how the filtering systems for our own brains are working.
