The first behavior to avoid if we want to get better is assessing blame over what could have been better, over what went wrong.
Assessing blame is such a seductive act, though, because it’s easy to point to a co-worker, or a boss, or a partner and identify their shortcomings. How they slighted us. How it was their fault.
Its much harder to be objective, get out of our own feelings, and assess how our behavior, actions, and/or attitude played a role in the problem. Assessing blame and focusing on others is worse than a dead end, it often derails us from getting better.
What will get us on the path to better every time is to simply ask ourselves, “what can I do now that helps?”
Especially when we don’t feel like it.
Especially when we don’t believe it to be our job.
Especially when we we believe someone else is to blame.
Focusing on what we can do to help is the only work that reliably gets us on the path to better.
