Those two little words have more loaded meanings and feelings attached to them than perhaps any other phrase in development.  Most volunteers don’t want to do it.  And, sometimes, even seasoned development professionals will feel a bead of sweat trickle down the center of their backs when making “The Ask.”

While I always encourage clients to develop abiding relationships with donors focused more on cultivation, education, and stewardship, there are times when the donor doesn’t wish to be cultivated, educated, or stewarded.   Instead, she just wants to know the particulars of your request.  How much? In what time frame?  For what purpose?  And for what type of recognition?

She may be a busy executive who gives you limited time.  Or he may be a retiree who knows your institution well and  simply likes to cut to the chase. You may be making “The Ask” for a lead campaign gift.  You may be making “The Ask” to complete the campaign.  Or you may be making “The Ask” on your only prospect who realistically can make such a large commitment. The point being, there will be times, some of them crucially important times for your institution, when you need to be expert at “The Ask.”

There needs to be no stuttering.  No stammering.  A confident delivery is a must.  Body language will be key.  Involving an influential volunteer will be critical.  You’ll even choose your wardrobe and shoes specifically for this interaction.  And, then, look the prospect in the eye and make “The Ask.”

So, here is the $1 million question (perhaps, literally):

How do you prepare to make “The Ask” in these vitally important situations?

In my experience, if you are the average development professional, you may devote a half-hour to planning for the interaction with the donor.  You probably haven’t scripted the interaction.  Or, if you did script it, the first time you review the script with your CEO and/or volunteer is in the car driving to meet the prospect.

But you don’t want to be average (and I certainly don’t want you to be average).  So, instead, why not:

• Prepare multiple scripts based on possible responses from the prospect?
• Utilize those scripts during role play scenarios with those who will be making “The Ask” with you?
• Have others in your department watch the role play and critique your body language?
• Tape the role play and watch it back yourself (video cameras are notthat expensive)?
• Be so concerned with the outcome that you count the number of “ums” in your delivery and work to delete every one of them?

In short, why don’t you prepare like you only have one shot at “The Ask?”   Our friends in the for-profit sales world prepare like this all the time.

Isn’t your institution, your mission, and the constituents you serve worth this type of preparation, too?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope this Easter weekend is filled with joy for each of you.  Blessings.

• you don’t ask too soon in the relationship;
• you both know the ask is coming – the ask serves as more of a confirmation of past conversations, rather than as a surprise.

In short, while the details of the arrangements may still need confirming, you should always be relatively certain that the answer will be “yes.”

It also is important to remember that the “courtship” of the donor (to continue the analogy) is more important than the ask itself.  While we may focus on how to make the ask, the truth is that what we’ve done to prepare for the ask is much more important.   And in many cases, expressions of care don’t have to be significant to build and strengthen relationships during courtship.

For instance here is a simple thing to do which has lasting impact:  Call (don’t send a card) your major donors on their birthdays/anniversaries/etc.  Recently, I was visiting with a university president and she said to me, “Sending a card is nice, but I’ve gotten so much better feedback over the years from a simple call on those important days.  Invariably the donor will ask, ‘well, what are you doing today?’ And I can say I am on the road or doing whatever, and they are flattered that I would take time out of my schedule to call them.”

Makes sense, right?  But I find very few development professionals who do this.  And it’s not like it is difficult.  If you use Outlook or most any other calendaring system you can easily set these call reminders for yourself.  And, at least for me and my schedule, making a quick call is by far easier than finding the time to write a note and find a mailbox a week in advance.

So, why don’t more development professionals do simple things like this?  I think part of the reason lies in the fact that many believe that major gift work is somehow different than building relationships in our private lives.  But really it isn’t.  If you do the courtship right, the proposal goes a lot more smoothly.

Urban legend – An urban legend, urban myth, or urban tale is a form of modern folklore consisting of stories thought to be factual by those circulating them. (Wikipedia)

In part II of our three-part series, I am focusing on the “It’s All About The Ask” Urban Legend.

Specifically, this Urban Legend purports that fundraisers should be overly concerned with that moment with prospective donors when they are solicited. Unequivocally, focusing on the ask/solicitation is the wrong thing to do. And here is why. . .

It’s about the relationship, not the ask! I suggest that asking a major donor to support your institution should be like asking a girl to get married. If the fella isn’t 99% certain of the answer, he shouldn’t ask the question! The ask should be a confirmation of the many conversations you’ve had with the donor and within the context of the relationship. You both should have a good sense that an ask is coming sometime soon. And you both should have a strong sense that the answer will be affirming. An ask, then, is a natural culmination of a series of conversations.

Far too many presidents and development professionals view the ask as the most important element in securing a gift. Books have been written about “the ask,” and many conferences have been conducted to discuss the best possible ways to ask the donor. But I would offer a different thought:

For the bulk of universities, schools, and non-profits, the way you ask is really less important than you think. If you stumble, stutter, or otherwise struggle to make the smooth, polished ask, don’t worry. Donors who view you as authentic, your institution as meeting a meaningful need, and your priorities as important won’t need a salesperson to make the “perfect ask.” Instead, they will want a professional and a friend to help facilitate their giving in support of shared values.