18 Dec 11

Overcoming Your Hurdles

What are the hurdles you are facing in your work life today?  What are the problems keeping you from reaching your Far Edge of Promise?  Go ahead, list them.

Not enough budget?  Not the right people on the team?  Not enough people on the team? Too much bureaucracy?   A micro-managing boss?  Support staff that doesn’t take initiative?  What else?

As we get older, we tend to view hurdles not as speed bumps to jump over or get around, but as barriers that are almost impossible to overcome.  But each of us has always faced and conquered hurdles.  Think back to when you were a kid on a playground.  Nothing was impossible.  ”Tomorrow,” you would tell yourself, “I’m going further on the monkey bars!”  And you would.  If you fell and skinned a knee and your hands, guess what?  They healed and you came right back for more.

You see, the real problem isn’t the hurdles we face, it’s our response.  We freeze.  Or we cower.  Or we retreat before even trying a solution.  Or we accept the status quo. Or we do all of these and more.

I think we respond so feebly to our hurdles today because we think we know the outcome before we even try.  We have the experience of falling off the monkey bars and skinning our knee.  And it hurt.  To protect ourselves from future harm, our brains recall the pain of the skinned knee far more vividly than it remembers the joy of finally conquering the monkey bars.

Our real problem is that we let our instinct to protect ourselves from authentic life-and-death problems intervene inappropriately.   Yes, you should freeze, retreat, and do whatever else you need to do to survive when you come across a bear in the woods, but our work isn’t quite so dramatic or life-threatening.  We’re talking about finding creative solutions for workplace problems, not protecting ourselves from physical harm.

When we let our protective instinct intervene and walk away from our hurdles, we don’t explore new options.  We don’t think.  We don’t create.  We don’t stretch ourselves and inspire others.  We don’t encourage.  We don’t make things better.  And that makes our world grow ever smaller and our work less significant.   It makes us obsolete.

So as you end 2011 and prepare for 2012, go ahead and jump a few hurdles.  Fight your instinct which is your real hurdle.  Yes, you’ll fall and skin a knee or two in the process.  But you’ll also grow as a professional, gain more meaning from your work, get better outcomes, and have more fun.  And, your scars will make for a fantastic story.

Just remember:  It can’t be that hard – kids do it every day.

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13 Dec 11

Developing A Social Media ‘Point Of View’

Every institution that my firm, Gonser Gerber, works with has the same question when it comes to social media:

How can facebook, Twitter, Google+, and other social media help us raise more money?

Truth is, we are spending more time with our social networks – keeping content fresh, moderating discussions, etc. – and the energy and resources we are using to “do” social media can add up.  We need a social media ROI that makes sense.

The promise of all social media is that it allows our institutions to converse with and to engage a mass of individuals quickly and relatively easily.  If we ask good questions and develop ways of online listening, we have an opportunity to tap the interests, desires, values, and energy of large numbers of our constituents.  Additionally, we have the opportunity to spread our institution’s message to an ever-broadening group of prospects who may share our values and resonate with our mission.

But, there is so much “noise” (as Seth Godin likes to say) already out there.  Every company, every educational institution, every non-profit, every group, is tweeting, updating, and enlarging their stream.  But much of it is just “noise.”

“Noise” is all of the content, data, stories, communications, etc., that does not interest us.  Think of all of the stories that show up on your iGoogle homepage. Think of your Twitterfeed.  Think of your facebook feed.   Sure, some of it is interesting, but to keep up with all of it would be more than a full-time job.  And, the reality is, a lot of it – a whole lot – is not of interest.  It is just plain noise.

A key mistake that institutions make with social media, then, is that they contribute to the “noise.”  The push every news release via social media.  They link to other stories that mention the institution.  They re-tweet everything tweeted by another constituent.  They “communicate” without asking questions and listening.  They treat their social media fans and friends to a steady stream of “noise” – the electronic version of a bullhorn.  And you know how annoying a bullhorn is.

Instead, I think institutions would be far better served developing a “point of view” that resonates – not with everyone in the known universe because that is impossible – but that resonates with people who are aligned with the mission, vision, and values of the institution.  And once you develop a point of view that furthers the institution, you stick to it.  Daily.  Every tweet.  Every facebook status update.  Every Google+ stream addition.  Stay focused on your point of view and don’t deviate.

The value of social media is not that it gives you a platform to be a louder town crier.  People walk right by the town crier and do their best to ignore him.  The value of social media is that it allows you to publish, listen, and engage people from a specific, important viewpoint.

Staying true to a “point of view” social media strategy creates an environment in which people choose to come back for more.  That’s how social media helps you raise more money.

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11 Dec 11

Getting What You Want By Giving What They Want

So our good friends at The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia have released the findings from their latest national survey of marital happiness.

They surveyed 1,400 married couples and found that the level of generosity – or the amount of give and take that goes on in the relationship – is a key predictor of marital happiness.  Fifty percent of women and 46% of men who reported “above average generosity” in their marriages also described their relationships as “very happy.”

Ok, that’s pretty easy to understand.  My wife is happier with our union if I give to her.  Got it.

But there is more to the story.  Couples who reported “above average generosity” also reported high levels of sexual satisfaction.  And wives were more likely to report higher levels of sexual satisfaction if their husbands pitched in and were generous in doing household chores.  All husbands should take note – if you want a sexually satisfying marriage, start with emptying the dishwasher every now and then!

Granted, this research doesn’t answer the question of causation.  So, generosity may lead to better sex.  Or, better sex may lead to more generosity.  But that’s not the point.

Here’s the point – generosity is a powerful motivator.  In marriages and in any relationship.  Generosity is powerful because it is evidence to another person that we value them.  That we care.  That the other person is important.

And generosity begets more generosity, especially if we are generous in ways that others value.  The results of research completed at Stanford and Harvard confirm that people actually think of you more positively when you give them what they have asked for instead of what you think they will want.   So, the next time your mother-in-law puts “slippers” on her Christmas list, don’t get her a lovely necklace.  If it ain’t what she asked for, she probably won’t think you (or the gift) are all that special.

Why?  Because when we give something that someone has asked for it shows we listened to them and we cared enough to give something that they value.  They appreciate the giver of those gifts more than when they receive something unexpected.

Remember both of these research findings the next time you are generating major donor strategies.  If you want their gift, the first step is to extend generosity toward them in ways that they find meaningful.

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4 Dec 11

What Is Important To Your Donors?

There is a story of an art collector who had amassed a sizeable and valuable collection of art masterpieces – paintings, sculptures, and other art pieces.  He had grown up without the privilege of formal education beyond high school and had worked to establish and build a successful business.  By the time he was 55 he was multi-millionaire who had been generous with many local and regional organizations.

Our art collector’s only son had decided to join the U.S. Army and ended up in the Middle East during the first Gulf War.  Unfortunately, as the ground forces moved in to liberate  the country of Kuwait, the young man was fatally wounded.  However, before he passed, he was able to help another soldier from a vulnerable position and into a place of safety.  The art collector was distraught at the death of his only son.

One day, the man welcomed a visitor into his home.  It was the soldier who had been saved in the Middle East by his son.  They had been friends, having met 6 months earlier.  The soldier knew that the man was an art collector from talking with the son and, soon after his rehabilitation, he used charcoal to sketch a picture of the man’s son.  He was not an accomplished artist by any stretch, but he brought the picture to give to the man as a gift.

The father was overwhelmed and had the picture framed and hung it conspicuously in his home.  He loved this picture of his son done by the amateur soldier-artist and regularly would break-down when showing the picture to friends.

Some years after his son’s passing, the father died of a sudden heart attack.  It was completely unexpected.  It was a massive attack and he was dead before his body hit the floor.  With no other children and no wife (he was divorced a number of years ago and never remarried), the man’s extensive art collection was set to be auctioned.  Art dealers, collectors, and inquisitive onlookers came from across the country to bid on the collection.

At the beginning of the auction, the auctioneer brought out the charcoal sketch of the man’s son.  The seasoned art collectors and dealers in the room knew instantly it was not worth much.  In fact, many grumbled about the need to “get on” with the “real auction.”  They wanted to see and bid on the expensive and famous works the man owned.

The auctioneer started the bidding on the sketch of the man’s son and there was silence as he attempted to get $250.  He lowered the opening bid to $150.  Then to $100.  Finally, in the back of the room, one of the man’s friends said, “He loved that picture of his son, I’ll spend $100 for it.”  And with that he bought the amateur charcoal sketch.

Now, thought everyone else in attendance, the real business can get started.  Anticipation grew to see some of the famous works owned by the man.  And then, unexpectedly, the auctioneer banged his gavel and announced that the auction was over.  The crowd was, at first, stunned and then angry.  ”What?” came the cry.  ”We demand to bid on the expensive pieces of art.  We have come from all parts of the country!”

The auctioneer pulled a document from the breast pocket of his suit and read from the man’s will.  He quoted, “As for my entire collection of art items, including every painting, sculpture, sketch, and other artifact, whoever shall successfully bid and purchase the charcoal sketch of my son shall receive all remaining pieces.  For whoever takes my son, can have it all.”

It’s easy for development professionals to focus on what we can “get” from our donors.  Every day we feel the pressure to produce more gift income.  So, it makes sense that we can get focused, misguidedly, on how much our donors can give to us.

But, when we focus on what is important to our donors we are more likely to receive much more than we could ever imagine.

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27 Nov 11

Giving Thanks and “Black-Eye Friday”

Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday in theory.  A day in which we pause collectively to reflect, commune, and return thanks for all the many blessings each of can count.  For most people in North America, of course, we have much for which to be thankful.   So, in theory, it’s an important holiday.

Of course, theory and practice don’t always align.  On Friday of last week – the day after the U.S. holiday of Thanksgiving – we sadly learned that some “Black Friday” shoppers pepper-sprayed, shot, mugged, and fought each other for deals.  Perhaps “Black Friday” should be re-named “Black-Eye Friday.”

In any case, we are left to wonder what has gone wrong with this notion of Thanksgiving?  How is it possible for people to spend a whole day pausing and reflecting on their many blessings in a communal celebration of life’s goodness and then, a mere few hours later, turn violent in an effort to get even more of life’s goodness.

I think part of the problem is that many view life as a sequence of discrete transactions, instead of as a collection of relationships.  When we view life as a sequence of transactions, our conspicuous self-interest takes front and center.  If I want or believe I need something, I go get it.  Regardless of who I have to step on.  And since I view life as a sequence of discrete, unrelated transactions, my job is to get the most I can during the current transaction.  There are no “relationships” to protect or nurture.  My job is simply to “get mine.”  It’s the thinking that gets us “Black-Eye Friday” scenarios.   “Walmart shoppers, pepper spray on isle four!”

Even the way we talk about Thanksgiving or “giving thanks” can be problematic.  In a world of transactional thinkers, when you “give” something it can mean that you are “losing” something.  And since transactional thinkers believe their job is to get the most they can for themselves out of most every transaction, a day of “giving thanks” means a day of losing.  And who likes to lose?

In the face of such twisted thinking, I’m proud that our profession encourages people to view life differently.  To focus on relationships and not transactions.  To practice the act of giving because it not only blesses others, it blesses the giver more.  And to help people understand and live out their real task on this earth — to make the journey of others a little more meaningful.

I hope each of you enjoyed a blessed day of Thanksgiving.  And I hope you are honored to be serving in your role.  You encourage relationships.  You promote giving.  And you bring out the very best in others.

For each of you, I give thanks.

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21 Nov 11

Alleviating “Ask Fright”

We’ve all heard of stage fright – that fear that grips a performer when the lights come on and the audience is watching intently.  A favorite method of alleviating stage fright is to take the focus off of yourself as the performer.  Instead, acting coaches will encourage the performer to focus on the audience.  ”Imagine them in their underwear!” is the classic instruction.  For many students, they focus (and laugh) on the underwear part.  But the truth is, overcoming stage fright is about focusing on something or someone other than yourself.

If you’ve been around the development field long you know that there is a fear that cripples people’s capacity to do good much stronger than simple stage fright.

I’m talking about “ask fright” – or the exceedingly negative and visceral response that many volunteers have to a request to assist in any meaningful way with the development program.

“Ask fright” takes a variety of forms.  From complete paralysis (“no, I don’t talk to people about money”).  To flu-like symptoms in which the volunteer coughs, begins to sweat, and shows increased lethargy, especially as it pertains to returning your phone calls!

Regardless of the excuses given (and there are many), many volunteers struggle with asking for a gift.  They may care deeply about your institution.  They may give of their time, talent, and treasure in model-esque fashion.  But many express an intense dislike for being with you when another person is asked to make a financial commitment.

It turns that the cure for “ask fright,” is similar to the cure for stage fright.  Namely, to get the focus off of oneself and onto others.   Now, I wouldn’t suggest you tell your volunteers to imagine the prospect in their underwear.  But, one way I attempt to re-focus volunteers who struggle with “ask fright” is by asking – and help them answer – a simple question:

For whom are you asking?

As a volunteer, you are not asking the prospect to support you.  Therefore, you should not take their response personally.

You are not even asking the prospect to support this institution.  Our institution is simply a vehicle to serve.

Instead, you are asking the prospect to support those we serve – our students, patients, clients, etc.   You asking the prospect to help transform individual lives and make a difference in our community, our country, and our world.

The prospect may say, “yes”.  The prospect may also say, “no.”  Or, the prospect may say, “I’ll get back to you.”  Whatever the response, just know that it isn’t about you.  Fundamentally, they are responding to an opportunity to support those we serve.  When we re-focus the attention of our volunteers away from their role in the work and onto the lives we will impact through philanthropy, we have a chance to cure “ask fright.”

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17 Nov 11

The Impact of Serial Tasking on Donor Engagement

Our pressurized, over-scheduled lives seem to demand efficiency in completing multiple items on our to-do list simultaneously.  Whether it is sending an email, checking a website, and talking on the phone, it isn’t unusual to find that we are doing all of these tasks (and more) simultaneously.  Most of us have convinced ourselves that multi-tasking makes us more effective, more productive, and better able to do more in the limited time we have.

Here’s the problem:  It seems some very smart researchers are now suggesting that multi-tasking doesn’t work.  In fact they suggest multi-tasking is actually a myth – our brains can’t multi-task.  Instead, what most of us call multi-tasking is really “serial tasking,” or shifting from one task to another in very quick fashion.  So, when you are listening to music, sending emails, and watching tv all at once, you really aren’t doing these tasks “all at once.”  Instead you are stopping your brain on one task and starting your brain on another task over and over again in short order.

That makes sense to me.  And many of us do far too much of it.  We start our brains on this, move to that, focus on that for a bit, and then jump to the other thing for a few minutes.  We do this day-in, day-out, in all areas of life.  It becomes a habit – a way of life.

But is this good for us?  Is it good for our work as development professionals?  I’m not so sure.

Starting and stopping our minds may make us feel productive.  But I would suggest that it actually makes us less productive with the part of our work that matters most – building relationships and engaging others.  Engaging others takes sustained and personalized focus.  We have to be present with someone – usually for periods of time lasting longer than 5-10 minutes.

And when we allow ourselves to get into serial tasking habits, I’m convinced that we condition our minds to be less capable of  slowing down and living in the moment with the people around us.

So, if we think we are (or know) habitual serial taskers, how can we do it less (and thus engage more with the relationships that matter)?  I would suggest the following:

  1. Turn off your continuous stream of email – check it only a few times each day.  If you regularly answer emails as they hit your in-box, you are most likely a serial-tasker.
  2. Go someplace without your smartphone so you can focus fully on the people and activities around you.  Next week, go two places.
  3. Ban smartphones from meetings in your shop so members of your team can concentrate on each other and on being creative together.
  4. Practice active listening.  Pay attention to how the person is sitting?  How are they using their hands when they talk?  What is their overall demeanor?  And what does all this tell you about what they are saying?  This kind of listening is the anti-thesis of serial tasking – it is focused, takes time and practice, and is exceedingly helpful for development professionals.
  5. Move your largest and most important projects to the top of your to-do list each day.  Many serial taskers will focus on many smaller tasks to gain a feeling of being productive.  But many of these smaller tasks aren’t the most important.  Getting in the habit of setting aside chunks of time to focus on bigger, more important projects helps condition your mind to focus for longer periods of time.
The real problem with “serial tasking,” I think, lies in the fact that it isn’t a tactic that helps development professionals do the work better.  The most important part of our work is not to complete “tasks,” it is to engage others.

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13 Nov 11

Why a Donor-Centered Approach Is Wrong

Over the last decade, the concept of “donor-centered” fundraising has gained traction for institutions of all sizes.  Books have been written on the topic and a Google search of the phrase turned up 364,000 results!  The idea – that all institutional activities and behaviors should be concentrated and focused in ways that best serve donors – has high visibility.

But it is wrong.

Read this from Simone Joyaux, ACFRE, and web contributor to “Nonprofit Quarterly“:

“Sadly most organizations focus on their own needs and why their good work requires donations.  Instead, the donor-centered organization puts the donor at the center.  ’Because of your gifts, we do this vital work.’”

You may be wondering why I would suggest this to be a wrong-headed approach.  At first blush, it sounds like a philosophy I would espouse.  But, I believe this is more than wrong-headed, I believe it is dangerous!

Here is what I mean.

The ‘center’ of our work, of our institutions, should never be our donors.  When we put our donors at the ‘center’ of our organizational focus and energy, we can quickly get our institutions into some curious situations.  For instance, if your institution practices a “donor-centric” approach, how might you respond if your largest donor asks you to give her son a job?  If the donor is at the center of your institution, your decision-making may get confused.

Now, some might say that I don’t understand the real meaning of being “donor-centered.”  In fact, Ms. Joyaux has written in other places that institutions should be both “donor-centered” as well as “mission-centered.”  The problem I have with this “dual-centered” approach is that I’m not sure what an institution leader does when those two “centers” come into conflict with each other.

And believe me – they can come into conflict.  Sometimes in ways that are much more devastating than giving someone a job.  Sometimes a “donor-centered” approach and a “mission-centered” approach can clash in catastrophic ways.

Here is an example of a real-life mission statement of a well-known institution:

“(The institution) educates students. . . and improves the well being and health of individuals and communities through integrated programs of teaching, research, and service.”

Do you know whose Mission Statement this is?  It’s Penn State University’s.

I wonder if leaders at Penn State University would have reacted differently to protect little boys from alleged sexual predator, Jerry Sandusky, if they had been “mission-centered,” instead of embracing some other “donor/money/winning/and/or reputation-based center.”

Our institutions should never be anything other than “mission-centered.”  Our focus, energy, decision-making process, and donor-relations should sit on a foundation of mission.  Why are we here?  Why do we do what we do?  Our mission-based center should evidence our values and our purpose.  If we truly live out our mission, we will put appropriate focus, recognition, and stewardship on our donors.

But, when we put the wrong concept, the wrong people, the wrong idea at our center – at our very core – we run a huge risk.  Even if that “something” is as important as donors, we run a risk.   And sometimes, when we allow our institutions to become something other than “mission-centered,” we put the very people we aim to serve in harm’s way.

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6 Nov 11

Working On Vs.Working For

Do you focus more on what you are working on or what you are working for?

What we are working on could be a mailing, setting up visits, getting prepared for Board meetings, etc.

On the other hand, what we are working for are the big outcomes we are aiming to achieve.  Strengthening our institutions through endowment growth, assisting tomorrow’s students through increased scholarship aid, or building the day-to-day foundation of our institutions through a more robust annual fund.

When we focus on what we are working on, we tend to concentrate on our to-do list and our calendars.  If we aren’t careful, what we are working on can become all-consuming, squeezing out a focus on what we are working for.

But, when we focus on what we are working for, we tap into our highest values and ideals, and the reasons why we chose to work in the philanthropy vineyard to begin with.  What we are working for gives us a reason to get out of bed each day and approach our work with the enthusiasm and effort it deserves.

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30 Oct 11

The Rise of Fe-lanthropy

Recently, frogloop posted a story about the rise of the she-conomy.  A story that should remind us that donors are not a monolithic category of people.  Homogeneous groups, based on important variables, as well as all individuals, approach philanthropy differently.  Our role as advancement leaders is to build the knowledge and capacity of our institutions to better serve all our donors.  This starts with better understanding.

According to research conducted by U.S. Department of Education and Virginia Tech, women now are the recipients of 60% of all earned Master’s degrees.  And currently, they control nearly 60% of the wealth in the U.S.   The number of wealthy women in the U.S. is growing at twice the rate of wealthy men.

The Women’s Philanthropy Institute at Indiana University has published research suggesting that single women are twice as likely as single men to make a philanthropic gift.  Further, married men and married women are twice as likely than single men to make a gift, leading some to suggest that women’s philanthropic tendencies rub off on their husbands.

So, what does all this mean for you as you plan and implement advancement strategies?  From a strategic standpoint two ideas immediately come to mind.  First, if you read further into the research on women donors, as compared to men, women are less likely to respond positively to “challenge gift” scenarios. The research suggests women are encouraged to give more when there is a collaborative strategy in place.  Second, women respond positively to donor education initiatives, including estate planning seminars.  They have questions and they are willing to seek the answers.

Often during Prospect Management meetings, the strategies discussed for major donor prospects center on men.  In some instances, to the exclusion of the women in their lives.  The research on women in philanthropy – both their influence on men and how they respond to our strategies – strongly suggests such a male-dominated approach is a mistake.

The old saying of philanthropy is, “If you want money, ask for advice.”  Perhaps we should re-state and update this. . . “If you want money, ask for advice. . . from a woman.”

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